arranging

The moment Mary arrived home from school I scurried her upstairs to change, grabbed a snack for her and hustled her into the car for her 4-7 pm gymnastics. “I miss you,” I sighed, as we drove the familiar route. “I’m sorry our days are so busy.”

“Don’t worry Mom.” Mary replied, “I think I have time to play with you tomorrow.”

***************************

We are figuring things out around here. Will Xander play soccer or join the cross country team? What time are piano lessons again? Should Hans take driver's ed online?

And I’m trying to figure things out. Although I have five hours to myself every day, I have enough work to fill forty. It's a familiar pattern for me-- pruning my interests to keep my family healthy.

Yesterday, Ben wrote (I updated his missionary blog! Well, mostly.):

Dear Mom,

I really thought a lot about you guys going back to school this last week and I remember when I went down to BYU. The biggest lesson I learned was just how much I loved our family. It's a lesson I'm still learning, but I was so surprised at just how much you meant to me. I remember one weekend when I came home for something. We went to church and had pancakes and played ticket to ride and life just felt so good at home. As I drove away I wanted to cry and to my surprise I did. I stopped crying long enough to pick up Mary and talk to her family, but then as we passed Wasatch I couldn't hold it back any more and after about thirty seconds I had to pull over and Mary was in shock asking me what was wrong. I said I didn't know, just that the day at home had been so good. After a minute I pulled myself together still not completely sure of what had just happened.

The point is that I love you and everyone in our family.

And that's my job, to keep everything good at home. Choosing what is best even when I'm pulled in a dozen directions.



Every few days, Mary wanders into the garden with her little basket. She snips and chooses, tucks her blooms in tiny vases, ponders for a bit and removes the star asters in favor of more lavender.



Her choices are often unexpected-- not the way I'd do it-- but full of surprises, blooms I've ignored, an interesting leaf I haven't noticed before,



each bouquet uniquely, beautifully her own.

I'll get my life arranged; some things will look silly and unnecessary to others, but as long as I wait and choose and ponder, allow some things to fall into place and other to fall out, home will be good,

and beautiful.

change

Dear Ben- everything at our house turned upside down in the last few days. With much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, we moved Stefan down to Provo Wednesday.

Wait, everyone looks happy. That's because we have no intention of letting more than a week go by without seeing him. Oh yes, we were all mature and gave you your space (kind of) but we miss you so much these days, we plan on visiting Stefan obnoxiously often. His roommates will just have to put up with us and his dates when we all tag along.

Everyone hauled in his massive amount of belongings.

Hans and Xander put the bed together.

While Gabe and Mary hung clothes.

You can see Gabe peering curiously into Stefan's roommate's closet (I didn't let him open the door).

We took a break at one of your favorite places--Sammy's Pie Shakes. You remember the Waddoups-- Basic Joy? Annie and her family are moving to Australia, while cute Lauren stays at BYU.

Next we were joined by California friends. Silly Meggie insists she'll beat the boys in an armwrestle someday. Uh huh.

Happily, our goodbye was shortlived, since Stefan came home Sunday to be ordained an Elder. Our bananas were turning brown without him. I need to stop buying five bunches at a time.

A hug after his ordination.

With Grandpa and Grandma, the Bishop and Stake President.

And me. Dad insisted I put up this photo, but you can see why we also need the one above. Everyone was so much smilier-- especially Grandpa Fritz, and I would hate for you to think he's become a grumpy old man. He's the same silly Fritz you've always known.

The mandatory Mary/Stefan photo (she sat on his lap all during church because, "he won't be here again for a long long time.")

And the Hans/Stefan photo. ;)

After, Stefan set about all his normal Sunday things-- filling the family room with music.

Making banana bread (while eating a banana popsicle) because we're such slacker banana-eaters.

Reading one of Mary's American Girl books because he'd promised.

Offering his grudging approval.



Mary piled all the pillows on a chair for back-to-school blessings. Remember how President Tingey told you to give your mom a blessing as your first task as an Elder? He gave Stefan the same challenge. I could tell he was nervous, but he had a few hours to think about it and gave me a beautiful heartfelt blessing. Then dad said, "My turn." and Stef broke into a cold sweat.

A bit of wild dancing to finish off the evening, and off he went. But like I said, no tearful goodbyes, because we'll probably visit him on Saturday. But... with Stef moving out things have changed-- his name is off the job chart (but as you know, the dishes rotation goes much better with four kids), Hans is now in charge of turning off the upstairs lights and we just had to do a room shuffle.

Thanks to you, every child in this household feels like having their own room is some sort of cruel punishment. Hans is still OK with your bed with the hope of Stefan returning for the weekend, but Xander was done with solitary. He lured Gabe to the upper bunk (Mary and Gabe have been sharing) and helped Mary move her bed into the pink room. So now, the old Gabe/Mary room is Lego/dollhouse heaven and Mary is FINALLY--after eight years-- sleeping in her own room.

Except she's actually sleeping on the old brown couch in Xander and Gabe's room.

Ooh, isn't is beautiful? You may never see this room so clean again. Looks huge with my wide angle lens, doesn't it? Yep. So we have four bedrooms and two of them sitting empty. By the way, Hans has been sleeping in your bed since you left, but still keeps his clothes in Xander's room. You are all strange little children.

Sophomore Hans off to his first day of high school.

Xander obsesses over mechanical pencils and nice pens just like you. Eighth grade seems so much easier than starting as a brand new sevvie.

And yeah, what's Gabe doing up? Your sleepy little brother is no more. When I came home from running before 7 he was at the counter dutifully filling in a math worksheet.

With two hours to spare, Gabriel quadruple checked his school supply list, made lunches and practiced every violin song ten times.

Finally, finally, time to leave. They say there are two kinds of mothers-- the kind who cry when school starts and the kind who cheer. But I think crying vs. cheering is all about timing. We've had an incredible summer (sorry to rub that in), fall is creeping over the mountains and everyone is excited to learn new things, make new friends.

Some years I've cried, but today I moved the couches and kitchen rug into place and knew they'd stay there a few hours. Sang as I swept the floors, wiped the counters and wiped fingerprints off the back door. Made a list of every project I need to finish this month (twenty-seven and counting) and cheered just a bit.

Love and kisses to my darling Benny boy,

Mom

Mile High Raspberry Pie

So much to do, so much to write about. But this, this pie, is urgent. Raspberry season is on and whether you are harvesting from your own garden or your roadside fruit stand, you need to whip up this pie today (because sadly, sniff sniff, you'll need to freeze it 24 hours before you can indulge).

Darling Lisa, chef extraordinaire first tempted us with MHRP. Word to the wise: everything Lisa bakes/creates is fantastic. But when she sent me the recipe, I thought she must have left out a few ingredients. My sister had the same reaction when I relayed the recipe to her-- "doesn't it need cream of tartar or gelatin or something...?"

Nope. Just wash and drain 12 oz raspberries and put them in a mixing bowl with two egg whites (though I like to cheat and use three) and a cup of sugar.

And turn on that mixer for a good 15 minutes.

Now if you were a silly girl like Tracy and returned the Kitchen Aid mixer your hubby bought for Christmas because you didn't "deserve it," you'll need to pull out the hand mixer. And your arms are going to get really, really tired.

At about 8 minutes in, you may get discouraged. This is a good time to visit the garden and pick a few tomatoes.

No, honestly, really, you should be finishing up the crust about now. Actually I make the crust first, but it just didn't work for the flow of this post. Be smart: double the recipe and store one pie crust in the freezer for next time. Because there will be a next time.

1/2 cup ground pecans
1 cup flour
1/2 butter
1/4 cup brown sugar

Toast on a 9x13 pan at 325, then crumble into a 9 inch pie dish.

Alternatively--- because enough people are allergic to or whiny about nuts-- I use a graham cracker crust (and I'm going to offend the purists by saying these crusts are equally delicious).

16 whole graham crackers (crushed in the blender)
1/2 butter
1/4 brown sugar

Baked in 9 inch at 325 until it looks good (things like timers diminish my baking creativity).

Ah, that looks about right.

Don't lick the beater yet. You'll need it for whipping the cream. Transfer the pink fluff to the biggest bowl you own and pour 1 cup whipping cream into the mixing bowl. You don't need to wash the bowl because the pink fluff won't hurt your cream a bit. Much of my goal in cooking/baking revolves around using as few bowls as possible, but if you just love to do dishes, feel free.

Hurray! The cream is whipped. But you still don't get to lick the beater. Rather use it to gently fold the cream into the pink fluff. Go gently. The more you mix your fluff will deflate and your dessert will become Kilometer High Raspberry Pie-- which just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Pour into a chilled crust, cover with plastic wrap and place in the freezer. Now you can lick the beater, and you'd better enjoy it, because you have a long, torturous wait until the pie has frozen to perfection (oh sure, you can get away with 12-18 hours, but don't kid yourself and think 5-6 will do the trick).

And there it sits. A little slice of heaven. Words and photos can't describe the absolute lusciousness. You may start with a small piece, but you'll quickly learn to cut large wedges. It's light and cold, tangy and sweet. Even this chocolate obsessed family agrees MHRP reigns supreme in the world of pies. Don't be embarrassed when you lick your plate.

OK, go! By tomorrow morning you could be cutting a slice for breakfast.

London!

Ah, I've already complained about losing several days of video footage, but maybe you'll be grateful it's gone. I love every second of our video, but you might need to love us a lot to watch the entire eight minutes.

London! from Michelle Lehnardt on Vimeo.

San Diego

My sister and I, we're pretty clever.

Although our families love to see each other, the cramped twelve hour drive, summer camps and lessons and work schedules can cloud our vision. We put off the trip until next week or next month until (like last summer) the days have passed and we don't go at all. Sniff.

But this year we solved our problem in January by signing Hans and Lizzy up for EFY together. Ah, then we'd have to drive to California to retrieve our darling son.

EFY is a church camp-- glorious in many ways, but especially appealing to a California girl like Lizzy for meeting Mormon boys. At the beginning of the week Hans teased her he'd tell all the cute girls he was her cousin and all the boys he was her boyfriend. Can you imagine how much fun these two had? The train ride home from Santa Barbara was especially exciting.

At my house you'll find cereal and milk for breakfast (on a good day), but my sister creates two fruit cobblers, juice, fruit, chocolate milk...

My sister's house is always filled with glorious, golden light.

getting ready for church

Beautiful Lizzy. If you know any fifteen year old girls, I suggest you shower them with compliments, because none of them can see themselves for who they truly are.

The mud pit is the envy of all the neighborhood boys, Xander thinks we should pull out our garden and create a pit of our own.

Gabe doesn't do mud.

Benjamin Bunny loves to ride in Zoe's pockets.

Will recruits helpers for his nightly dish duty.

Mary and Zoe are hiring.

When John spends too much time in the mud, it's time to head for the beach.

big brother/little brother

the traditional muscle shot

Baby Bear reunion.

As we filed into my sister's church on Sunday, the nine cousins filled up an entire pew. The adults slid in behind them and as we watched them whisper and snuggle, share hymnbooks and wrap arms around shoulders, my sister turned to me, "We've really blessed." I could only nod in agreement. The moment felt like heaven.

Our family has suffered tremendous losses, but we have each other. And we won't let that twelve hour drive keep us apart.